Nola

Kelsey, age 24:
Fear of the unknown, this was one of my motivating factors in choosing to try for a natural birth. I am a planner and I like to know what to expect, especially when it comes to how painful something might be. The sensation of being numb is something my body abhors to say the least. For a longest time I figured child bearing wasn’t for me because I didn’t think I could handle the epidural and not having feeling in my limbs. That seems backwards, but it was how I felt. My mother had birthed 5 children naturally and even though she had never pressed me to do one method she was always positive about me having an un-medicated birth. Her example was what I held to for hope that maybe an un-mediated birth was something I could accomplish.

Friday Nov 13, 2009, I was 5 days past my due date and feeling fairly normal. My pregnancy had been smooth. I exercised by doing yoga and jogging throughout my pregnancy and I think this assisted me in feeling good. My mother was overdue with all her 5 children and I took that into consideration when I was told my due date. I figured this date was what I’d say to those inquiring of when I was due. This was not a date I would hold accountable for making me go into labor. I had been to a routine non-stress test earlier that week and everything looked great. I had a doctor’s appointment Thursday and was 80% effaced but only dilated to a 1. This meant I probably wasn’t going into labor soon, especially since I’d yet to feel a contraction, even though I was having them (as told by the technician at my non-stress test). After my appointment I even made one last run up to Park City to the outlets for some more baby shopping. While driving and shopping, I felt cramping in my lower back and thought this was because of the rather harsh pelvic exam I had earlier at my doctor appointment. No one told me that contractions could feel like menstrual cramps, if I had realized this I probably would have taken measures into my own hands and tried a little harder to go into labor on my own.

Alas Friday morning came and I was scheduled for a second non-stress test. My previous test took less than 45 minutes so I thought I’d schedule this test early in the morning. I didn’t eat a big breakfast, didn’t shower, I put my hair up in a messy bun, didn’t wear makeup and dressed in leggings and a sweater. Oh how I wish I’d known the events to come, breakfast and the shower might have helped. My husband had the car at work so I asked my parents if I might borrow theirs so that I could do my quick test and come back home. My dad is quite doting and said that since the weather was cold and I was alone, he’d be happy to take me. I tired to assure him that I was a big girl (quite literally) and felt confidant that the test would be quick and I didn’t need him to bother coming. Thankfully he really likes to take care of his daughter and he said he’d love to sit in the waiting area and do some work.

My test was the first to be performed that morning so everything was a little slower than I wanted. The major bother was the technician wasn’t thrilled that I was over due. I still don’t know why she thought this was abnormal, but she quizzed me endlessly why I had not been induced. I explained my mother was over due with all her children, my doctor doesn’t induced first time births till after 41 weeks, I wanted to go into labor on my own and the lastly I was trying to go unmediated and an induction can make that harder. She looked astonished that I was trying for an un-medicated birth and this is when the turn of events came. She pulled herself up to the computer monitor and said, “oh this isn’t looking good I’d better call your doctor, just plan on staying here and you’ll probably be induced”. I got nervous because I had heard stories about patients having pitocin to “speed things up” and I knew that this might be what hinders me from a natural birth. I chose to give birth in a hospital because I felt it wise since this was my first child and there were a lot of unknowns. I also knew that by doing this I’d be fighting the medically minded system. For a split second I contemplated running out of the hospital while the technicians back was turned. I really didn’t want to have to be induced, but it looked like that’s what she was set on me doing. I feel lucky my dad was with me so that I was not alone.

The tech came back and told me my doctor’s office wanted me to do another test for longer duration to see what the baby’s heart rate was doing during my contractions. They were worried because in the previous test her heart rate did take a slight dip and hadn’t fully recovered, but all of the other contractions were normal. She explained I would be admitted to a delivery room and monitored for an hour and then potentially I’d be induced. The doctor on call came to see me in the delivery room before I had even started the long non-stress test. He told me that I would likely be staying to be induced. Boy did I feel picked on in a sense because this really wasn’t what I had imagined. I had created a labor scenario and this wasn’t it. I took two classes, a Lamaze class and the other given through the hospital. Both stressed the fact that women come too early to the hospital. I was in the mindset to labor at home by taking a bath, blowing out my hair, doing my makeup and showing up at the hospital at the very end so as to be there the shortest amount of time possible. Un-medicated births in the hospital can be tricky because ideally the mother should be in bed, continuously monitored and unfed. These are all opposite of what can assist in natural birth. In my case it didn’t help that I was also to be connected to an IV for fluids and pitocin, which makes the contractions a lot stronger and less time between sets. The hour-long test finally ended at 12:00 pm and I was told it would be in the best interest of both the baby and me to be induced. My husband Jesse was still at work at this time, but I called him to tell him what was going on and that he should come to the hospital since they were putting me on pitocin. Luckily I had my bags packed at home and the car seat and other items were ready so Jesse went home, showered and brought all our things.

I kept telling myself that I should continue to let my wishes be heard to the nurses and my Doctor that I planned to go un-medicated even though I was going to be on pitocin. Since I didn’t know what level of discomfort I could handle I wasn’t sure if I’d reach my goal of an un-medicated birth. My yoga practice had taught me that there is much to the saying “mind over matter”. I started blocking out any negativity towards to me going un-medicated. I was going to be seeing by daughter within a few hours and I still had control, albeit slightly less than desired, over my labor. While I was being prepped for the IV, I read an email written by my dear friend. I had sent her a text early that morning saying that I was in the delivery room, but not in the ideal situation that I wanted. She has birthed two children and she knew that I preferred an un-medicated birth. I read her words of encouragement. She reassured me to not worry because God was in charge and He knows EXACTLY what he is doing, he hasn’t lost His footing and He is the only source of comfort during this time. She said to stay focused because my daughter is the prize and she will exceed all the feelings I’ve ever had in my life. Oh how this brought me right back on track. I realized I get to see my baby soon and that no matter medicated or un-medicated she’s what I get at the end.

I asked that my water wait to be broken till I was at least dilated to a six, this wasn’t’ what the doctor wanted and I was continually asked if my water could be broken before then, but from what I had learned while on pitocin it’s best to wait till you are fairly dilated so that the contractions don’t go crazy from the get go. I put my bed into a chair-like position and was fairly comfortable through most my contractions. I was doing so well that I urged Jesse to go to a class, while he was away I chatted with my mom and sister. Jesse returned from class and my family left so that it could be just Jesse and me for the rest of the labor. My dilation progress was slow even though I was on pitocin and fully effaced. The Doctor told me that if I didn’t progress with in the hour he’d likely have to do an emergency c-section. The baby wasn’t necessarily in any imminent danger or risk and I felt great, so this is when I mentally tuned the doctor out. The nurses had warned me that this particular doctor usually told his patients that he’d do an emergency c-section if they didn’t progress in a certain amount of time. I was glad that they let me know this so that I was prepared and subsequently whenever the Doctor came and was negative I just zoned him out. I actually couldn’t even talk to him because he just impeded my concentration. I gave him the thumbs up sign when he needed me to acknowledge something. This may seem so silly, but as far as I was concerned I was doing fine and the threat of a c-section wasn’t helping me in any way.

I was advised to lay down on my side to see if that could speed up my advancement. I closed my eyes, started doing some yogic deep breathing and squeezed Jesse’s hand during the contractions. I had Jesse talk to me. He did a great job explaining that the contractions were the method, which the baby could arrive. Jesse reminded me constantly that labor is a good process (he never said easy). Jesse told me about some of our happy memories to help me, relax and smile. He encouraged me by reminding me how exciting it is that we get to see our daughter. Jesse knows me so well he even gave me a good incentive by telling me I could eat whatever I wanted when it was all over. The contractions picked up greatly and now I felt like a deep throb in my lower back. They felt like strong menstrual cramps that come in waves. They were uncomfortable but with breathing and lots of pep talk from Jesse I took each contraction one at a time.

The cute nurse who taught our hospital birth class saw Jesse in the halls while he was getting ice for me. She recognized Jesse and asked if she could come to the room and say hi. She will never know what her optimistic visit did to help me. Since I had been laboring on my side, eyes closed, facing away from the nurses, doctor and monitor I didn’t really necessarily know how I was doing. I sat up when she came in and she was astonished to see me talking through contractions. She praised my efforts of doing what I wanted by going un-medicated and said that if I had made it this far then I shouldn’t worry, I’d do fine with the rest. This is all I needed to hear, even if it wasn’t true. I now felt great, like I could go the rest of the way and accomplish what I wanted. Just those few affirmative words were the ticket to helping me focus and feel confident. I can’t emphasize enough just how beneficial positivism is for a laboring woman.

The pitocin had slowly been turned up throughout my labor. I had hoped that things would pick up so I would not have to reach the maximum dosage, but I ended up needed it. I was checked and was only at an 8 and so the dosage was turned all the way up. Luckily the hardest of the contractions were for the shortest time. The nurses left us a lone for longer than normal and this is when I felt like maybe I couldn’t go on any longer. The funny thing is, even if I had tried there is no way I could have gotten up, hunched over and held still for an epidural. Just wasn’t going to happen. It took all I had to concentrate and breath through the contractions,

Finally I felt like I needed to push. I had read about this and never understood what people meant. Well, now I did. But it was just Jesse and me. The nurses weren’t there so I didn’t really know what to do. I told Jesse, I really felt like I needed to push so he flagged down a nurse, she checked me and finally I was fully dilated. It’s amazing how many times I have heard that the time when women think they can’t go on is actually right before they are fully dilated and it is the end of labor. Since this was my first birth and I hadn’t been checked for a while I didn’t quite realize this, but I was just like everyone else. It was 11:00pm and the nurses did the mad scramble to get everything ready. The Doctor came in, turned on the spotlights and explained to me about pushing. And I quote, “push like you’ve never pushed before, and then push some more”. A better indication for me of how I was doing was Jesse’s voice. He could see the baby’s progress so his voice would get really excited when I was making improvement. It was so fun for me to hear Jesse tell me she had hair. Yes, I was very concerned that she would be bald. For me pushing was magnificently better than the previous part of labor. I felt like something was actually getting accomplished and finally at 11:45 pm I gave my final push and I met my daughter Nola.

There might not be a better feeling than being done with labor, holding your newborn and not being pregnant anymore. To put it simply, I felt like wonder woman. I honestly don’t know if I could have done it without Jesse reminding me this was all worth it. I had the chance to hold Nola right away and she latched on and nursed fairly easily. Meeting your child for the first time is a huge thrill because you’ve bonded with your baby for 9+ months, but finally you get tactile and visual contact that solidifies your relationship. It’s like meeting your pen pal. You feel like you know them so well, even though you had never met. I was honored to be Nola’s mom.

When I was cleaned up, Jesse left with Nola to the nursery. The nurses weren’t use to a fully functioning patient and didn’t quite know what to do with me. Usually the mother is numb and they have to assist her and wheel her in a bed. I could stand and move fairly well. The endorphins were amazing. This was one excellent perk of un-medicated childbirth. Yes I was exhausted, but I didn’t have the linger side effects of an epidural. I ate, went to the restroom unassisted and could get in and out of bed on my own. I actually I felt so good it was hard for me to settle down and sleep. I spent the rest of the night bonding with Nola, resting and soaking in the reality that I accomplished something awesome and had become a new mother. No matter the method, childbirth is a miracle and an amazing achievement for both mother and father.

1. When did you decide you wanted to deliver your baby naturally?
I had always wanted to avoid a medicated birth, but I never new how I’d handle labor discomfort so I prepared myself for both natural and medicated. Throughout my teenage years I listened to those women who would tell their natural birthing stories. In high school when I had to watch the birthing videos I was moved by the women who chose a natural birth and I felt that this method was for me, it was what I wanted. Very few people ever encouraged me in my desire and this is when I doubted myself. When getting pregnant was an option I really started doing my research. I read, planned prepared so that I would be ready for whichever method I ended up using.

2. What reasons or factors went into your decision?
I don’t enjoy the hospital, the atmosphere of medical devices and the fear of the unknown. I figured that not all medicated births go as planned and I wanted to be prepare myself for a potential natural birth.

3. What did you do to prepare for natural childbirth? (midwife, classes, methods, books, etc.)
I tried to not let those with negative views sway my decision. I took it upon myself to search out information and form my own views. I took the hospital class to know what to expect when I delivered there. I took a Lamaze class through a birthing center. Read personal birthing stories and researched various birthing methods via the Internet. I read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin. This book has a lot of great stories. One of my goals for pregnancy was to exercise is some form throughout the entire pregnancy. Nothing vigorous, but by staying active helped me throughout my pregnancy, delivery and post pregnancy. I worked on breathing and visualizations and positive affirmations. Kegels. Healthy eating also aided me to feel good.

4. What was the hardest part of your experience - before, during, or after childbirth?
The unknown was the hardest part for me, I didn’t know how I would react to all the elements of childbirth and since it was my first I didn’t have prior experience to base any decisions off of. Worrying can be very hard on a soon-to-be mom but that is why I continued to prepare. I didn’t like that I was embarrassed to tell people that I was preparing for a natural birth and thus this made me doubt myself. I’m glad that my spouse was supportive 100% and was willing to prepare and learn with me.

5. What was most helpful to you during labor to help make pain from contractions manageable?
While pregnant I had tried to prepare myself mentally. Yoga was one of my personal helps because it is all about being in tune with the body. I relied on my husband to talk me through every hard contraction and we had been to a Lamaze class that taught different techniques for the husband to help alleviate pressure.

6. What do you wish you would have known going into delivery?
I knew that I’d find resistance from the hospital by wanting an un-mediated birth but I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to make my desires known all while being in labor. For me maybe having a doula or midwife would have helped make my wishes known so I could just focus on giving birth.

7. Is there anything you would have done differently?
Definitely, next time I will choose a doctor that I love and that will support and facilitate my un-medicated birth. Especially if it is a group practice, I will need to like every single doctor in the group so that I will enjoy whoever delivers my baby. I’d love to deliver in a hospital that supports other methods of birthing other than medicated.

8. What did you feel were the positive benefits to your natural childbirth - were the benefits what you expected?
My recovery was fairly smooth. I have a hard time dealing with numbness; so an un-medicated birth was excellent because I was able to attend to my newborn 100% after giving birth. I think I was very surprised to feel as good as I did.

9. Is natural childbirth something you recommend to other mothers, or something you'd do again?
I would definitely have another un-medicated birth and I hope to be an advocate of un-medicated births, yet I’d never want someone to feel like I disagree with medicated births. I support un-medicated births and I would love there to be more support for those who are seeking to have a natural birth in a hospital setting.

10. What advice do you have for other mothers interested in natural childbirth?
If a natural birth is what you desire, please don’t let the negative views of others make you feel like its impossible. I believe that husbands and wives should be able to achieve the type of birth they desire and not be swayed by others who may not even be educated in un-medicated births. Again, I felt like learning as much as possible was beneficial for me so I’d suggest doing research and preparation. There are so many great methods that one might fit you better than others.