Wyatt


Amanda, age 27:

When I was pregnant people kept saying to me ‘you must be terrified’ and when I said not really they told me, with a knowing nod, that I only felt that way because I didn’t know better. And when I told them I wanted a natural childbirth I was told I was crazy and only felt that way because I hadn’t given birth yet. I mean I wasn’t thrilled about birth because, you know, I had heard it’s no walk in the park! But I wasn’t really scared either. I was certainly a bit apprehensive but I really tried not to dwell on it. I didn’t want to psych myself out or make myself crazy [or actually scared] envisioning all of the worst possibilities.

I really just focused on my sincere belief that women are built for this and that women have been birthing babies since the beginning of time. I tried to just trust my body. It had been making a baby for 9 months with little help from me - I figured it could handle the rest too! Adam and I took a class and read a lot and tried to be educated about the processes and options but also to keep an open mind about the experience. I felt avoiding preconceptions was also the best way to avoid panic if something didn’t go according to plan, which it didn’t, exactly.

Wyatt ended up arriving 11 days late and the midwives were all getting antsy about how late he was. The week before Wyatt was born they scheduled a non stress test, which he barely passed (he wasn't very active in the mornings but always kicked and wiggled up a storm when I was trying to go to sleep!) and they had me in for another one on Thursday. I ended up being there ALL day because they couldn't get a good enough reading and then sent me for an ultrasound and I had to wait and wait until they finally (6 hours later) let me leave. But not before telling me they were scheduling me to start an induction Monday morning. Nooo!

The midwife suggested a local acupuncturist that she said had helped some women 'get things moving' as a last ditch effort, so I made an appointment for the next afternoon. I had never had acupuncture before and was a little nervous (which is funny considering I was going to be giving birth soon) but the woman laid me down, explained what she was going to do and why it would convince Wyatt that it was time to come out. She put needles into my swollen legs, ankles and feet (to release the fluid build up and relieve the swelling) and into my lower back (it had been hurting for days) and I fell asleep until she came to get me, removed the tiny needles, and sent me on my way. Whether it was the acupuncture or just Wyatt's 'time' I will never know but the fact remains, I started having contractions at 3am that night. It would only be another 2 days until 10am on Monday morning when the midwife on call would finally give me permission to come in. At which point I was 7cm and they all congratulated me on being a first time mom and working it at home for that long!

I was supposed to have my baby at the Cambridge Birth Center but when my water broke, only 15 minutes after getting settled at the Birthing Center, there was meconium in it and according to MA law I was required to transfer to a hospital in case my baby needed immediate medical care. My amazing midwife just packed me up and wheeled me across the street to the hospital, pausing for my contractions. She stayed with me the entire time, guiding me through birth and was wonderful about looking out for me and my interests, given that I had been planning an intervention-free water birth at the birthing center. I was disappointed for a moment but then there wasn’t any time to think about it and besides, what was to be disappointed with, I was about to have a baby!

I was amazed by how much my body just did on it’s own. It was incredible. My mom was behind my head wiping my forehead with a cold washcloth between pushes (ladies I highly recommend assigning someone to this task - you don’t realize how hot you are until that cloth touches your forehead and feels incredibly cool and refreshing) and Adam was holding one leg while a nurse held the other. Adam was unbelievable. When I was having really strong contractions he stood in front of me while I was sitting and I just squeezed his middle and pushed my head into his stomach while he held my head and rubbed my shoulders. He reminded me when to breath, gave me encouragement just when I needed it and really kept me grounded and focused. I can’t imagine doing it without him. We had a doula scheduled but never ended up calling her because everything happened so fast once we got to the hospital and because BD and I were doing well on our own, it was really special.

In the end it just happened. I was pushing and pushing and then Wyatt was just there. Like I said, my body just knew what to do. And besides, the second Wyatt was born nothing else mattered. I felt incredible and invincible with him in my arms. I know that things come up and that there are exceptions and emergencies but overall I think that society, bad press and rumors are scaring women out of thinking they can do this. We can. We are strong and empowered by nature. Trust your body, trust your baby and trust yourself.

Whether you are planning a natural childbirth or not, be educated so that you can know your options but be open minded about the actual day - you aren’t in control, baby’s calling the shots on this one! But be confident in the fact that he wants out too and that you and baby are working together to bring him into the world.

We need to share our positive stories to create an environment of positivity and encouragement - rest assured - you can do it Mommies To Be!

1. When did you decide you wanted to deliver your baby naturally?
From the very beginning. I always knew I wanted a natural childbirth. And it was double confirmed after sitting down with my baby daddy to watch The Business of Being Born.

2. What reasons or factors went into your decision?
I wanted to fully experience the birth, didn't want to be drugged, didn't want my baby to be drugged and I believe women were built to do this and that we are capable of doing it without the medical intervention that has become 'normal'. So many people said, 'don't be a hero, get the epidural' and I am just against that type of thinking. I mean everyone should make their own decision and I don't judge anyone for how they gave birth (we all incubated a baby and got it out - we deserve high fives all around for that task regardless of how we each decided to go about it). But for me I wanted to meet this challenge head on. And I wouldn't want anyone to be robbed of the incredible amazingly joyous high of that moment your baby comes out and is put on your chest.

3. What did you do to prepare for natural childbirth? (midwife, classes, methods, books, etc.)
We took a natural childbirth class but it spent a lot of time talking to everyone about the other options and how hospitals might intervene. At that point we were planning on giving birth at the birthing center so we wished there had been more on coping. We had wanted to take the hypnobirthing class but hadn't signed up in time - I hear it's great though!

4. What was the hardest part of your experience - before, during, or after childbirth?
I did not like being pregnant. I didn't like being slowed down or crazy swollen and uncomfortable (I spent the whole summer really really pregnant) and didn't feel very much of a connection to my baby while he was growing. It was a really stressful time since Adam and I had just moved in together and I was super hormonal and he was changing jobs so it was very hard to be going through so many adjustments at once - but we persevered and everything got done, even painting baby furniture which I was sure, at one point, wasn't going to happen! But the hardest part of labor was nigh time during the two days I spent in early labor. There weren't any distractions and I had to sleep sitting straight up (very difficult) because the contractions were really strong and more frequent when I was on my side and waking [barely] through contractions and then immediately falling back asleep.

5. What was most helpful to you during labor to help make pain from contractions manageable?
Foot rubs. Sitting on the floor of the bathtub with a really hot shower going. Adam rubbing my shoulders while I squeezed his middle and pushed my head into his stomach. Him helping guide me when and how to breath.

6. What do you wish you would have known going into delivery?
That actual birth wasn't going to hurt. That pushing, while hard work, is sooo natural and actually feels really good - and that your body just does it and that it isn't just 'up to you' to get this baby out - nature is on your side!

7. Is there anything you would have done differently?
More foot rubs. But really, I don't think I would change anything - it was amazing. Though it would have been amazing to have a community, such as this, to hear and read positive and supportive birth stories. I have birth 7 months ago and I just can't get enough of these wonderful tales - I wish I'd had a few of them to encourage me and I'm so glad that other women will have this great wealth of encouragement.

8. What did you feel were the positive benefits to your natural childbirth - were the benefits what you expected?
I tried so hard not have any expectations. I just knew that I didn't want any interventions (I was more afraid of that than anything else!) and that I would just take it one moment, one contraction at a time and that this was going to happen whether I was afraid or apprehensive or not so the best thing I could do was just take it all as it came with as few preconceptions as possible. The benefits? The incredibly powerful sense of accomplishment. The look of pride in my Baby Daddy's eyes. Knowing that my baby and I were both completely coherent and aware of one another in those first few moments. It was amazing. A feeling unparalleled by any other.

9. Is natural childbirth something you recommend to other mothers, or something you'd do again?
Absolutely.

10. What advice do you have for other mothers interested in natural childbirth?
Find out your options, get educated, and then stick to your guns. People will try and tell you that you don't know what you're doing and that you need the medical interventions and how much pain they were in - but none of those things have anything to do with you. You and your baby are on your own journey and you get to do it your way. Plus I would read a couple of books that I meant to read but never made it to - like one by Ina May and The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. And bask in the support and love of those around you.

Contact Amanda at her blog: http://mommyinthemaking.tumblr.com

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